That's the questions many folks--a lot I already know well--are asking when I meet them again. Usually, it's the "she looks familiar but I can't place her" confused look...then blam! they're like, "It's You!"
Of course it is. It got to the point where i had to reassess my own self. Do I not look like me anymore? Then I finally pinpointed things: I've become free again.
Really. After my mother's death, I refused to follow convention and be bound by other's rules. I began living like I truly wanted to--dating on a whim with whomever, cutting ties where they should have been cut years before, traveling, not suffocating my 17YO and letting him grow into his own manhood...just living life like I've got only a little bit of time left. I very, very happy right now. I guess it's showing.
PLUS I am using this dermalastyl. At $150 per 2 ounce bottle, it ought to be good. Anywho, I thought I looked below my age before, I'm getting the you must be her younger sexy, sister comments....so I've managed to shave a few more years off.
So my thought for the day: Let go and let God. Do what you want to do that doesn't hurt others, but live life for yourself.
With that, I'm outta here!
Smooches!!!!
1 comment:
And you said it in a nutshell.
I think that's how I was trying to realize the same thing.
You and I are kindred souls Syd. My prayers are always with you.
I destressed shortly after a single mother/woman family could give a rat's ass about me nervous breakdown about four years ago.
I never knew you could actually feel your brain melting from stress and that's what it felt like. My world was falling about and no one gave a pickle about my situation.
It was at that point my littlest one walked in the room and for some reason I just couldn't crumble to my knees like my body wanted to.
"Momma, can I lay with you? I'm scared," she said.
I suddenly remembered what my purpose on this planet was and God was not through with me yet.
As her little body curled up against the front of me, my arms circled around her and she fell asleep. I could smell her baby smell that I think I will remember off of her for the rest of her life.
I closed my eyes and blew a long breath out. In that moment, I found God in myself.
Now I know what that phrase meant from "Colored Girls..."
Thanks gurl! Love from Motown
Sylvia Hubbard
Author & Blogger of How To Love A Black Woman
www.sylviahubbard.com
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